Same Sex Marriage View with a 3rd element involved?

On 26th June 2015, the United States Supreme court made a decision that legalized same sex marriage in the USA which also becomes law in Canada as I understand. I wasn't aware of this news when I was away in Kuantan on the east coast of Peninsular Malaysia. But the news came to me in a strange way through social media very early in the morning of 1 July, Month 7 of the year!

My response then was more a concern of why my good American friend and potential business partner today Carlos made a bold declaration that he would leave his Church and never come back again after listening to his pastor speak in a way that he felt was oppressive to the gays and lesbians especially in the United States, the land of the free! I spent some time to critique and gave my comments to what he had published,  from one writer to another as an exercise of improving our craftsmanship of the written word if one may call it.

Then my good Aussie friend Murray who brought me out surfboard paddling at Torquay Beach in the Aussie summer last year had messaged me in facebook the following :



He invited me to a group to address the 'Marriage Equality' question and while I was driving, I told him I would do it 'shortly' and that was on July 12th. I had just finished entertaining a visitor friend in Kuantan over the weekeind. It is 9 days later that I'm beginning to respond to him as I had to do another one of my cris-cross trip from Kuantan to KL to be caught up with meetings and preparations in the early stage of launching a new business in North America that will spread to the rest of the world.  

Furthermore it was a controversial topic that started quite a long time ago by an increasing number of people trying to get same sex marriages to be recognized by the law and given equal status to the traditional marriage. I thought I could handle the topic easier after doing the critique/commentary of the article published by Carlos but I soon realized it was now a more specific focus with the decision whether I am for or against same sex marriage! I needed to fast to draw more inspiration to craft my words so that it may not offend anyone but I was too busy running around to do it so I just prayed for inspiration and it came.

Drawing my thoughts from the Body Mind Spirit philosophy

I was reminded that it was something to do with the ancient philosophy of the existence of the Body Mind and Spirit of Man which I had unraveled by some coincidence when I was in New York city in October 2005.  It was from there that I created a simple table of words divided into a table of 3 columns to symbolize the 3 pillars of life perhaps that I had perceived but didn't invent as it has been passed on from ancient history or philosophy. "The relationship between body and spirit, or body and mind, has always been one of the most puzzling questions in the history of human experience and self-reflection." This is the opening line of a 9 page article written by Philip van der Eijk who is the Research Professor of Greek at the University of Newcastle-upon-Tyne which can be read here.

Recently I've added some descriptive statements to my original table of words to create a new version compatible to mobile phones of today. Click the 'new' link to see how I have created a simplified table that can fit into a tiny smart phone with minimum words to understand the philosophy of the Body, Mind and Spirit with it's respective roles or purposes. It started with just words and words are all we have in writing which I scribbled on a napkin in the New York cafe. From there I began to feel the relevance and meaning of words and became more adept in metaphorical thinking as if I was acquiring a new skill of communication that has multi sensory attributes. It improved as I progressively worked on writing in my three different websites and blogs of familylane, fastlane and spiritlane. In writing this post, I would click on my cell phone the new site for reference to ensure that what I write here is consistent with the concepts perceived in the metaphorical table with a screen shot seen below. Clicking it will open up the website in a new tab in your browser :



Applying the philosophy to the dilemma 

How did this dilemma come about? This is due to:
1. The drive of the Body for some have sexual feelings for another of the same sex. These individuals have been classified in a group with the acronym LGBT  that stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender.
2. The human Mind began to identify the group with the LGBT label just like how different species or things in life are named and classified. The mind also creates laws to ensure justice and fairness to members of society.
3. The Spirit of man however is a different element altogether. It is the 3rd pillar of our being that is made of a far more refined element that aspires man to believe in heavenly values therefore causing different reactions to the laws made by man.

What we have is a situation that those who FEEL with their BODY(EQ) sensations, love for another of the same sex, have influenced legal men to THINK with their MIND(IQ) to make the the judgement and hence the law that makes same sex marriage legal or equal to the traditional marriage of a man and a woman. This judgement is perceived by those who BELIEVE with their SPIRIT(SQ) in higher values that may respond differently to the law made by man.

One could say that the judgement may cause many to follow the letter of the law and not the spirit of the law!

Sharing my personal experiences

I was the pure science and math student at school, even though I graduated in business school, possessing a polished  language based on logic and evidence. That is why I thought I could understand anyone and anything by using my learned man's approach until I first encountered the world of spirituality and love relationship with the opposite sex. Why so? Well as a Chinese born in a conservative family, spirituality was only a ritual done on certain festive days taught by my mother with no teachings of divinity while my father believed primarily in education and hard work. So in short, spirituality to me then was only a ritual practiced due to respect of customs while love relationships was equated to parental love of guiding, caring, providing material things as well as education.

So coming close to adulthood, I felt I was the happiest man in the world as I had achieved everything my parents had expected of me. I was ready to embark on a happy and successful life ahead of me. Neither spirituality or love from the opposite sex was in my radar screen for the near future.

(Something just happened to my windows 8 notebook as it just turned black as if there was a power failure! Luckily with Chrome brower's ability to restore every tab of the browser I was working on, which is usually far too many, I could recover everything that was saved up to the point of the black out.  I just lost a couple of unsaved paragraphs on this post which led me to new thoughts to save me from straying away from the topic of this post that I was starting to stray away from! This is seen as just another spiritual blessing in my life!)

Writing a journal is indeed a kind of spiritual practice and this started when my life changed totally after my spiritual conversion. This is actually the blog containing details of where, when, why,who, what and how it all started, progressively recorded from the 1st post to current day if anyone was curious to read.

One of the new thoughts NOW I have is that I just realized in reviewing my history that I now can appreciate why some may miss out the third spiritual element of life if they were born in similar circumstances as mine.  Also if they had found spiritual practices or beliefs, the modern world of openness, freedom and democracy today provides a wide array of choices. Even major religions of the world have within themselves many splinter groups or breakaways from the original itself. As I have shared in my writings, spirituality today may also not necessarily refer to God or religion.

The other thought I have is that at the age 21 of adulthood and a couple of years after that, I did not fully appreciate or understand the need of  romantic love from a woman which is the motivation behind traditional marriages between and man and a woman. So when I see single men and women who never married but live fulfilled lives without a soulmate, I am not surprised at the outcome. However when members of the LGBT find intimate partners of the same sex, it does make me wonder. My first experience of knowing a gay friend was with a close college mate in Australia that loved to dance at the discotheque with me in the seventies. I learnt that in his latter years at college, he was spending time with high class society of lawyers and accountants who were gay and from there he justified that being gay is perfectly fine!

Then in my business life, there were two male staff whom everyone felt were gay as there was a senior masculine male who hired a more feminine male in the same department. We respected that they were different and most staff just accepted them on the grounds that they performed well at work and were friendly and cooperative to everyone including customers and colleagues.

This reminded me of the time when my wife and I were in Lake Tahoe jeeping around North Western USA. We were sitting by the lake side that was crowded with people and right behind me was an elderly couple minding two boys, probably their grand children playing with sand close to us and I could hear their conversations. The two boys about 10 to 11 years of age were chatting and giggling about gay people. Soon grandma called them to come to her and she basically pulled them close to her and said words to this effect that I still remember vividly, "Now boys, we shouldn't talk and laugh about the men you two are talking about as what they do in the privacy of their own home is none of our business!" Much later I talked to my wife about the experience to say this is how America raise their young to be color blind as well as blind to anyone who are sexually different too! This was in 2004.

Another experience to share is one of our Church member friends from overseas emailed her personal thoughts as the mother of a daughter who was about to be married with another woman. Basically she experienced the dilemma of whether to attend the wedding or not as attendance could be interpreted as her support for same sex marriage but her absence might reflect that she did not have unconditional love for her daughter! If my memory serves me right, she did attend the wedding but did communicate to her daughter that she personally didn't feel what she was doing was right!

How is a 3rd element involved?

The inspiration I sought for in writing this post is clear. It would be difficult for anyone to come to a conclusion or make a stand that would satisfy all parties. Why so?  Take the gospel of Jesus Christ for example. A special spirit sent to earth in a physical body to suffer and die for Man's sins, called the atonement, so that they can be forgiven and not face the punishment. It was not easy for Man to understand or believe this. A young girl once asked a minister, teaching her the simple principles of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, "Why would a loving Father in Heaven or God allow his only beloved son to suffer so much and die on the cross to save Man?  Couldn't he, as God the Father with all the powers of the universe, find another way to pardon Man for his sins? The minister responded, "Who taught you to ask me these questions?"

The principle as I understand it is that whoever God is must be someone very perfect and whose power is his honor. God would never lie nor deceive others as if he did that, he would never qualify to be God. So if God had created his laws on earth to judge our faithfulness or obedience saying for every law we obey we are blessed and for every law we break we must suffer its consequences, he must be consistent in administering his laws. He would also give man total freedom to choose for himself else Man cannot be held accountable for his own actions. It is therefore not possible for God to lie or change from what he had said. If he did that, he will loose his honor which is his power. The result is that he could never waive the consequences from those who broke the law as this will tantamount to unfairness to all the other spirit children of God who will demand justice. (While preparing this post, I came to know China's Chairman Mao understood this concept in a letter he wrote for the execution of Huang Gedong.) One can see the role of a 3rd element or party involved in the redemption process i.e. the law giver, the sinner and the savior or advocate.

Another example of a dilemma solved by having a 3rd party is the demands of mercy by a debtor to his creditor when the debtor fails to repay his creditor. The creditor responded that if he showed mercy to the debtor for not paying his debt on time, who would give him justice as the debtor had promised to return the debt but failed to do so. A 3rd party comes along to see the problem and offers to pay the creditor for the sum owed by the debtor thus satisfying his demand for justice. As he does this, he has also satisfied the demands of mercy from the debtor and would be fair that he is able to impose conditions for this merciful act. The 3rd party can demand from the debtor that he obeys his will and follow him.

I have, after my conversion, always believed that a marriage is a sacred covenant between a man and a woman with God as the 3rd element in that covenant to make it a marriage with eternal blessings to look forward to. When children comes, as a process that I believe that God too has a hand in it, a family is created which brings blessings of joy and happiness both to parents and the children, not forgetting the contribution that the family can make to their community or society. I am just an ordinary man who first didn't even understand what is the spirit of God or the love of a woman and merely by an exercise of faith, did my best to follow these beliefs that the 3rd element has given me comfort and peace to accept. What is the result? I've done my best to record our truthful joys and sorrows as a family, without offence to anyone, at www.familylane.info for traditional desktop views and at www.familylane.info/photolinks for latest mobile views that I'm following the letter of the technical law to produce them but not the spirit of it as it is not my preference to be seen looking down on my phone especially when I am with another unless it is for important messages.

Am I for or against the laws making same sex marriage equal to traditional marriage?

I am going to respond to my friend Murray now by sending off this post to him in facebook with my apologies for being late and giving him a possibly incomplete comment post as I have been a busy man crisscrossing between Singapore, Kuala Lumpur and Kuantan with multi-tasking activities in the past couple of months. I may complete this post somewhere in my journey on the way to the US and Canada to meet my potential male partner, in business i.e., Carlos E. Jean-Gilles for a possible exciting new venture for both of us!  If you already know the answer to the above question in bold, it may not be necessary for me to add any more words to this post. Thanks Murray for asking me to comment and for hearing me out through my usual way of writing my views in a blog post with its related links.


Thought it's worth sharing this below that may carry the spirit of my post with just one video!
What a great idea for a birthday celebration for any family!
Posted by Sun Fu Chong on Friday, July 31, 2015

I cried watching several of the videos in this website.

To be continued if necessary!

Of course it is necessary as the reader with a trained western mind would wonder what is the conclusion or my opinion of the law especially if the reader may have read my very long post, with its corresponding links, and may still be found guessing which side of the fence am I at or may conclude that I have decided to be a fence sitter like many Asians tend to be as some felt of the Dalai Lama with his comments. East Asia definitely has cultures and traditions different from the Western world which may be the reason why they have been slow to jump to adopt such controversial laws America has come up with. It is interesting to note that China with its long history of an ancient civilization that has just opened up to the world could show only a rare existence of family relationships that is different from the norm where a matriarchal order exist with women from the Mosuo tribe do not marry, take as many lovers as they wish and have no word for "father" or "husband".

I am against the law of marriage of the same sex. Reason? For my life at the 'better late than never' time or age when  I was just turning to the legal full adult of age 21, was touched by the 3rd element or Spirit. Not only is it just a one time incident to completely change my life and thinking with regards to Spirituality, spiritual events continued to this day as recorded on this blog post and another coined by me, the journal writer, as the Story of 7.

As a result I can only testify that Jesus Christ, the only begotten son of a Heavenly Father and most likely a Mother too, is for real and forgiveness of sins for our mistakes or breaking of his divine laws is possible based upon the basic principles and ordinances of the gospel which includes faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, repentance, baptism and receiving the Holy Spirit as the comforter. Now I have also declared that I am one who cannot deny that "I have received great spiritual experiences but despite this, much is still a mystery. 'For now we see through a glass, darkly;' and I believe I must continue to remain open minded and respectful of the different faiths and beliefs that others have."

Besides my spiritual knowledge with long rich experiences during my sojourn on earth,  my secular knowledge also gives me concern about how the new law will further cause the decline of human progress on this earth. As communities become more civil in creating and obeying the laws of the land, this new law to accept same sex marriage equal to traditional marriage will lead to more 'systematic errors' in thinking of Man as already evidenced in human history.

With all that I have shared sincerely from my life's intellectual and spiritual learning with its accompanying experiences, I reiterate again my stand that I am against the law of same sex marriage recently announced in the United States.  I also like to add that for those in the LGBT classification, I stand for them to be respected as children of God who must be accorded fair rights for their welfare and human decency needs which is in no way contrary to the spiritual laws that already have been revealed by prophets past and present of this world. I would welcome them in my home or our Church like any other imperfect beings, to learn together with me the true teachings of our Savior and Redeemer Jesus Christ. They can always also enjoy my personal and sincere friendship and love.

Concluded on 2 August 2015 

Post-dated additional writings :


24 May 2016

I would also share with them what qualified medical doctors such as Paul McHugh, who spent  forty years as the University Distinguished Service Professor of Psychiatry at Johns Hopkins Medical School have to say here.

On the topic of same sex marriage, I am reminded of the visit of Richard Wilkins with the photo I took with him in Oct 2004 in Kuala Lumpur, holding a book of which he was a co-author entitled, "A Sacred Duty". Click his name with a link to learn of his life's work.


The book is about his journey as a BYU law professor to defend the world's families based on his 1996 participation in an international conference on the family at Istanbul. This is just after the Church had issued 'The Family, a Proclamation to the World' in September 1995. (This proclamation was read by President Gordon B. Hinckley as part of his message at the General Relief Society Meeting held September 23, 1995, in Salt Lake City, Utah.)

I learnt from him how in these United Nations' organized conferences that certain Non-Government Organisations(NGOs) who are are pro-same sex marriage were attempting to influence the change in the definition of a family from the traditional view of one that is made up of a mother and father in order to justify legalizing same sex marriage eventually in their own country. His emphasis in the conference was therefore the importance of language in UN policy statements as if not worded accurately may wrongly influence or be used to influence local legislation accordingly.


16 Jan 2018

For the first time in the history of the Church, a new President appointed to lead the Church, Russell M. Nelson, has a live broadcast to the world found here.

LGBT question was put to President Russell M. Nelson by a representative of the Associated Press that was appropriately answered. This part of the video can be viewed below where the question was raised in the time stamp of about 2.05:11


13 Feb 2018

In my concluding work of research and writing for my first book to be published, I had to cover the classics of philosophy from the teachings of Plato to discover this commentary statement, "Plato saw sexual intercourse as serving no useful end. Heterosexual intercourse must be tolerated because it is necessary for procreation, but homosexual intercourse, he believed, serves no end but the fulfillment of physical pleasure. Since homosexual intercourse is useless, it cannot be good or beautiful. Whatever is neither good nor beautiful should be avoided. Second, as Plato makes clear later in The Republic, the health of a man’s soul is determined by the desires he aims to fulfill. A just soul is a soul that pursues the right desires. Desire for physical pleasure is not worth fulfilling. So though the good man, the philosophical man, might have physical desires directed at his young friend, it is crucial to his virtue that he not act on these; he must not try to satisfy his lust for physical pleasure. Instead, he must transmute that erotic desire into a longing for truth and goodness, and a longing to find this truth and goodness together with his beloved." (Reference Sparkbook note, The Republic Book III)


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